i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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