i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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