A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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