Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
