Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
