That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
