is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
