your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
