i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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