Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize