I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
