why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
