I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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