I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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