69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
