Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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