you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
