? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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