So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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