i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize