Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
