I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
