I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
