return my video game
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
