also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
