And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
