as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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