idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
