In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize