In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
