I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
