is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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