Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
