Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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