I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
