I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize