Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
We smell like vodka and hangover
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
