The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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