You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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