No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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