Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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