You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you didnt know i had herpes?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
