sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
