got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize