Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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