Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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