I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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