just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
