just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize