sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
