Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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