WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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