i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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