Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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